Transcript for Monkey-Robot Showdown
Narrator: Becky Botsford, aka WordGirl, is deep in concentration, because she’s preparing for the city’s annual checker contest.
(Scene: Becky’s bedroom. She and Bob are in the middle of a game of checkers, and are studying the board intensely. Suddenly, Mr. Botsford comes in dressed like a referee and blowing a whistle, and Becky and Bob fall off of their chairs.)
Mr. Botsford: Ah-ha-ha! Well, I can see you’re practicing for the big checkers championship, and you aren’t the only one, hmm?
Becky: You’re going to be the referee in the checkers competition?
Mr. Botsford: That’s right! The mayor said I could do it, if I agreed to provide my own whistle and get out of his office.
Mrs. Botsford: (offscreen) Becky? Bob? TJ? Tim? Dinner! We’re having salisbury steak.
Mr. Botsford: Salisbury steak? That’s my favorite salisbury meat! Gotta go!
(He runs toward the stairs.)
Narrator: The next day at the park, the checkers competition is about to begin.
Male reporter: Greeting to the billions of checkers fanatics watching today.
Female reporter: You folks are in luck. Because you’ve got the news team that’s first on the scene for hard-hitting stories.
Male reporter: If there’s a cute kitten in a tree, or a ninety-year-old blowing out a firestorm of birthday candles, we’re there!
Male and Female reporter: (together) Now let’s get to--
Female reporter: I’m supposed to say this, you always steal my lines!
Male reporter: Alright, go ahead and take it--
Male and Female reporter: (together) Now let’s get to the action!
(Rows of tables are set up with contestants facing off against each other. SOme are standing and watching.)
Mr. Botsford: (on loudspeaker) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the board is set! The black and red disks are in place! And that means it’s tiiiiiime… for a checkup! Huh?
(The contestants all stare at him. Someone can be heard saying, “Is that a joke?”)
Mr. Botsford: (to himself) Oh, bummer. I worked all night on that. (into the microphone) Um… okay! Everyone start playing checkers now--
(Suddenly, they hear the sounds of robotic feet approaching. One of Tobey’s robots stands before them wearing a cardigan sweater, a red scarf, and a red beret. Tobey walks up to Mr. Botsford.)
Tobey: Ah, checkers… the sport of kings!
Woman: No, horseracing is the sport of kings.
Tobey: Yes, uh… (clears his throat) Checkers, the beautiful game.
Woman: Nope. That’s soccer.
Tobey: Whatever. The only thing you have to worry about is which of you will finish second! Because my robot, the Checkmate 3000, built with my exceptional intellect, will vanquish everyone!
Becky: Oh yeah? If your intellect is so exceptional, why aren’t you playing?
Tobey: Uh-- because I, uh… sprained! Sprained my checkers finger.
(Tobey then has a flashback to his younger days, where he was playing checkers with Violet. She beat him at the game, and he cried out, “Impossible! It can’t be!” Violet looked over and said, “Wow, a pony!” and Tobey started crying. As the flashback ends, Tobey is still crying and walks off. Mr. Botsford blows the whistle to start the competition.)
Male reporter: Well fans, the competition is in full swing. And the action is fast and furious!
Female reporter: And if I had to pick the early favorite, I’d have to go with Becky Botsford.
(Becky has just won a game against the used car salesman. She shakes his hand.)
Becky: Nice game, good job.
(Mr. Botsford blows the whistle again.)
Female reporter: Besides young Becky Botsford, I have to say the other early favorite is the Checkmate 3000.
(Tobey’s robot is playing at one of the tables with Tobey standing nearby. It moves one of the pieces, and its opponent covers his hands in defeat.)
Male reporter: Why is a hyper intelligent robot allowed to enter a city’s checkers competition?
Female reporter: Beats me! I didn’t get to the top of the local news team by asking a lot of questions.
(As the robot begins a new game, a crowd of people start running toward something.)
Male reporter: Wait a minute-- where is everyone going?
Female reporter: There you go, again with the questions! Oop-- well, I’m receiving word there’s another checkers match in the park that isn’t part of the city’s official competition! Seems there’s some sort of checkers-playing walrus vanquishing anyone willing to play him!
(Bob is leaping from one checkers table to another, making incredible moves.)
Male reporter: This creature is cute and smart, and his movements make me smile. This may be the most important news story ever!
Narrator: Yeah, maybe I should handle the commentary. Uh, meanwhile, back at the real city checkers championship…
(Becky is facing off against Tobey’s robot. Becky makes a move, and gasps. Mr. Botsford also gasps.)
Tobey: End it now… vanquish the human!
Becky: Tobey! Give the poor robot a break!
(It makes the winning move.)
Tobey: Yes! Ha-ha-ha-ha, victory’s mine!
(He walks off.)
Becky: (to the robot) Well, congratulations.
(The robot extends its arm to shake hands, but Tobey knocks it aside.)
Tobey: Everyone behold the greatest checkers champion in the land!
(Tobey points at himself and assumes a victory stance. The robot looks upset. Tobey looks up, and points toward the robot.)
Tobey: I mean, the greatest checkers champion in the land… (in a whisper) ...and the boy genius who built him. (shouting) And the boy genius who built him!
(He looks around and sees that everyone else is gone.)
Tobey: Uh-- where is everyone?
(The crowd who had flocked to see Bob play checkers are now walking back carrying him, and are chanting “Bob!” over and over.)
Narrator: Uh, here they come!
Male reporter: Do you believe in miracles?
Female reporter: If by miracles you mean a checkers-playing aardvark vanquishing all comers, then call me a believer!
Tobey: WHAT?! Why is everyone so excited about some diaper-wearing monkey? My robot is the real champion!
Becky: Hey! Now Bob may not have been in the tournament, but he still beat everyone else in the park! If your robot’s so good, he’ll take on Bob!
Tobey: Fine, let’s do it right now!
Mr. Botsford: Well, if you want a referee, you’ll have to wait till tomorrow.
Becky: Alright, we’ll play tomorrow. Twelve o’clock!
(Tobey stomps off with the robot.)
Mr. Botsford: Can we make it noon?
Becky: Uh-- yes.
Mr. Botsford: Phew! Thank you so much for agreeing to push the time, you know I’ve already worked eight hours today, I know better than to cross the CRU.
Mr. Botsford: Checkers Referee Union?
(He points to a tree, where two men stand dressed in striped shirts with angry expressions. They start growling at Mr. Botsford.)
Mr. Botsford: They’re really quite ruthless.
Narrator: Later that day, Becky sits with her little checkers phenom.
(Scene: The Botsford house. Becky and Bob are sitting on the couch. Bob is eating popcorn and holding a salt shaker.)
Becky: That Tobey is so arrogant! What makes him so sure his robot can beat you?
Becky: I don’t care WHAT it takes, we’re going to win this competition!
(She slams the checkerboard on Bob’s lap, knocking the popcorn out of his lap.)
Becky: Oh, sorry. Guess I got a little-- carried away. You know what? I’ll help you train, but only because I want you to do your best, okay?
(Becky smiles and chatters.)
Becky: Only a lunatic would place that kind of importance on winning a checkers competition. (giggles)
(The scene shifts to Tobey’s house, where he is making adjustments to the robot.)
Tobey: Listen to me, you befuddled bucket of bolts! Nothing is more important than vanquishing this pretender to our checkers throne! NOTHING!
Narrator: Ooh! Dramatic music, two competitors preparing for a showdown-- I smell a montage!
(This is followed by a montage of scenes showing Bob going through intense training with Becky, interspersed with scenes of Tobey training with his robot. In one scene, Becky and Bob are playing checkers on a snowy mountain top. There is also a scene showing Mr. Botsford reading through various checkers rulebooks while drinking an extremely large cup of coffee, and struggling to stay awake.)
(Scene: The next day at the park. A crowd has gathered to watch the checkers battle between Bob and the robot.)
Male reporter: Well, we’ve got a classic on our hands!
Female reporter: You’ve got that right! In the long and storied history of robot-monkey battles, this one stands alone!
Male reporter: I already said that when I said we had a classic one on our hands.
Female reporter: No, you didn’t! This is the first I’ve heard of it.
Male reporter: Well, you talk too loud.
Female reporter: You’re a little smug..
(Back at the checkers match, Bob and the robot are exchanging moves. After Bob’s last move, Mr. Botsford blows his whistle.)
Becky: Ooh, nice move, Bob!
(Tobey grabs his hair in frustration and looks up at the robot.)
Tobey: Don’t BLOW IT!
(The robot acts nervous as it plans its next move. It hesitates for a minute, and then moves a piece. .Bob immediately counters with his move, and Becky raises her fists in the air.)
Becky: Well played, Bob!
Male reporter: Bob, Bob! Give our viewers at home a little something special.
(Bob flips a playing piece on his arm, and it rolls up onto his head. He then flips it back, and catches it.)
Tobey: (to the robot) Listen-- we didn’t come out here to lose, we came out here because I have unfulfilled dreams of being a checkers champion!
(The robot hangs its head.)
Tobey: I mean, YOU have unfulfilled dreams of being a checkers champion.
(The robot thinks for a minute, then gets ready to make its next move.)
Tobey: You sure?
(Bob jumps over two of the robot’s pieces.)
Tobey: No, that’s a TERRIBLE move! Oh, you’re a disgrace! You’ll NEVER be a champion!
Robot: No-- more-- checkers.
Tobey: WHAT? Get your head in the game!
(The robot twitches, produces a large mallet from finger, and proceeds to smash the checker table. Mr. Botsford blows the whistle.)
Mr. Botsford: Uh, Hold on, let me just check something (checks the rule book.)… uh… yep! Just as I suspected. Smashing the checkerboard during a match is against the rules. (blows whistle again.)The robot is disqualified. Bob is the champion!
(The crowd cheers, and Bob receives a bouquet of flowers as a prize.. Tobey kicks the robot.)
Robot: No-- more-- checkers!
(It picks up Tobey and walks off. Mr. Botsford continues blowing the whistle.)
Becky: Uh-oh… that’s not good. (grabbing Bob and running off) Word UP!
(The robot stomps through the park carrying Tobey.)
Tobey: Robot, I order you to put me down post-haste!
Robot: No-- more-- checkers!!!
(The robot comes up to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths, and zaps them. It then spots a checkered flag at an auto race, and vaporizes it. The driver goes past the finish line, confused.)
Robot: No-- more-- checkers!!!
Mazo-Racer Driver: What, no checkered flag? So the race isn’t over? Great! I love driving in circles eternally!
Tobey: Uh, yes. That’s it. Continue clutching me and rampaging about!
(WordGirl and Huggy start to close in on the robot.)
WordGirl: NOW where is he going? Ah, of course! He’s headed for the marble floor factory! They’re having a sale on checkered floors!
Narrator: Well… that certainly makes sense.
WordGirl: Ha-ha, yeah. Thanks.
(She continues pursuing the robot, which has smashed through the wall of the factory.)
Robot: NO-- MORE-- CHECKERS!
Tobey: Perfect yes, upside-down gives me a much better view of the destruction!
(WordGirl flies in front of the robot.)
WordGirl: Hold it right there!
Tobey: WordGirl! What are you doing here? I-- I assure you, I’ve… got the situation entirely under control.
(The robot picks up a checkered floor and throws it at WordGirl, which she proceeds to smash.)
WordGirl: Will you just admit you need our help?
Tobey: (groaning) Fine, If you want to vanquish the Checkmate 3000, and by vanquish I mean defeat or overpower him--
WordGirl: I KNOW what vanquish means!
Tobey: Of course you do… anyway, to vanquish the robot, you have to override the checkers circuit board in the back of its head!
WordGirl: Got it! Huggy, you know what to do!
(With Huggy standing on her hand, she does a monkey throw toward the robot. The robot throws more checkered floors at them, but Huggy manages to hop from one to the next as they fly by, and he lands at the back of the robot’s head. He starts tearing out wires, and the robot drops the floors it is holding.)
WordGirl: Now, that’s better!
Tobey: Now make him put me DOWN!
WordGirl: Not until you promise to stop putting so much pressure on the poor robot to win. He’s a nervous wreck!
Tobey: But he HAS to win, when he wins it’s-- it’s like I win!
WordGirl: That’s exactly the problem.
Tobey: Agh… fine. Robot, being a checkers champion isn’t important, what matters is having fun-- while vanquishing all of your opponents.
Robot: NOOOO-- MOOORRRE-- CHEEECKEEEERRRS!!!!!!!
Tobey: Fine, you never have to play checkers again.
(The robot loosens its grip, and Tobey falls toward the ground. WordGirl catches him by the ankle.)
WordGirl: Come on, Huggy!
(Huggy jumps from the robot’s scarf and lands on Tobey, grabbing onto him tightly.)
WordGirl: Word UP!
(Scene: The park, a little later.)
Mr. Botsford: Ladies and gentlemen, since he’s defeated his opponent, I officially declare Bob champion!
(Bob holds up a trophy. The crowd cheers.)
Male reporter: And the quick-witted muskrat has vanquished the supposed boy genius.
Female reporter: Moments like this explain why checkers is universally recognized as the greatest test of skill ever.
Male reporter: It’s like a much more challenging combination of chess, triathlon, and brain surgery!
Female reporter: Indeed! And now that the game is over, it’s time for us to eat lunch.
Male reporter: Do you like hot dogs?
Female reporter: If the teleprompter says I like hot dogs, then I do.
(Her face goes serious as she reads the teleprompter closely. After a few second, she smiles at the camera.)
Female reporter: Yes! I do!
(As the crowd disperses, Becky is talking to Bob as he holds the trophy.)
Becky: Aw, c’mon, one game?
(Bob chatters quietly, waving his hand at her.)
Becky: Ah, I get it. You want to go out on top.
Narrator: And, as Becky tried to get Bob to come out of retirement, we conclude another thrilling episode. Loyal viewers, if you want to become a vocabulary champion and vanquish boredom, be sure to tune in to the next episode of-- WordGirl!
(In the final scene, we see the close-up of a checkerboard with three black pieces and one red piece. The red piece jumps two of the black pieces, removing them from the board, and ends up diagonally next to the remaining black piece. It zooms in to show that there is picture of Huggy on the red piece, and WordGirl on the black piece.)